Every Wednesday we will post a question related to Monday's topic. We hope to start a virtual place through the comments section for you all to interact, share ideas, even pray for one another. Please grab a cup of coffee (or tea) and chime in to get the "conversation" going! 





On Monday Katie shared with us how she has developed self-control.  How has God cultivated self-control in your life through parenting?  What helps you in this challenging area?  Share a verse or story that might bless another mama here!

Comments

  1. This is such a great topic, Katie. With little kids, it feels like my goals are often being blocked... And frustration (aka anger) can well up inside me.

    I was talking with a friend the other day, and she had the idea of thinking about how you'd feel if your child's teacher or baby sitter was talking to him/her in the way you're speaking... This has been really thought provoking for me.

    I have been memorizing a couple of verses on having a gentle answer and the anger of man not bringing about the righteousness of God.

    I also try to lower my voice during discipline and training, and take a mommy time out to get some perspective when needed!

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  2. I agree, Linnette!

    There are a coupe things I'm thinking through in all this. The first is, I realized this last week if I don't make the conscientious decision to allow someone to enter my daily life knowing they are going to see the messiness, I usually find excuses to not let it happen. I don't like to show the strategies I've developed to cope with how I am feeling day in and day out (read "I don't like to show my messiness). I don't know if that makes sense, for example, tired me with just the kids looks a lot different than tired me with the kids plus a staff or student who comes to hang out with us (Or frustrated me, or anxious me, etc.).

    The other thing is, I am going through Proverbs till I get sick of it, and 17:27-28 says, "A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue." It is totally my nature to be on the quieter side and so self-control for me might need to look like actually using words and controling my silence. I just kinda put all this together, it definitely a new revelation.

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  3. I'm nodding in agreement with both of you. Proverbs has rebuked me more in this season of parenting littles than ever before. A phrase we use around our house, for both me and the kids is, "it's not an emergency", when we're provoked to lash out in anger. This has been helpful for me to diffuse some of those powerful emotions and keep perspective. (I wish I would have been repeating this at STPs where everything felt like an emergency-ha!) Katie, thanks for your comment and saying hello the other day! You had me laughing with you about the STP tantrum scenario. I know that feeling well. (:

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  4. This is Katie Hub. I am having a hard time logging in on here so we will see what happens..

    Good stuff, all. I love the "be the mom you want your kids to remember". It is so easy at this stage of life to think of ministry as everything but parenting. It's easy to look at how much you are not doing...how many Bible studies you aren't leading, or whatever. But it would be very sad to fast forward 20 yeas and realize you did lots of "outside" ministry, but then had lots of regrets as to what kind of mom your kids remember. Of course I think we all have some regrets...I think no regrets might be an impossible standard for anyone.

    Katie, that is really insightful about controlling your silence. Powerful. And another good reminder that this all looks different for all of us. Which is always good for we women to remember as we tend to, ahem, compare.

    And I love the "It's not an emergency!" I think I will have to borrow that one for the Hubbard household. Just great.

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  5. Katie, I loved your story and picture that I think we all can relate to as well !

    Stephen Covey wrote in his book 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE FAMILIES this quote " Between stimulus and response ,there is a space . In that space lies our freedom to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and happiness ."
    I love that quote because it reminds me of the power of choice and awareness that God has given me . I have a set of values that I believe in and I believe are the fruit of God's presence in my life. Sometimes the Fruit flows and sometimes I choose to clothe myself in Christ . There is no doubt though that I am always happiest when I am living my most deeply held values which is the fruit of God's Spirit. So it feels like I am not only choosing God's way but my happiness and peace as well when I press the pause button ( which is the space I needed to access God's strength ! )
    I have also found that ( once I know and can access that pause button ) if I can't seem to find the pause button for any reason ( emotional , angry , overwhelmed out of control etc .) I need to step back and consider whether I should ask for help. There might be a number of reasons for what could be going on with me , besides the typical chaos .Growing in self-awareness and honesty, I think moves me closer to God .

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  6. Thank you for taking the time to share your insights. These are excellent thoughts and I have been thinking about them a lot. This is an excellent conversation.

    I think sometimes we shy away from the word "choose" because we don't want to sound like we are acting in our own strength...for it is God who works in us both to will and to do His good pleasure. But I am amazed at how much choice we do have. I think of Joshua saying, "Choose you this day whom you will serve." I think our lives add up to the choices we make day after day, month after month, year after year. Lindy Black sums it up like this: Always say yes to Jesus. I love that.

    Jesus, please enable us to say yes to you today!!

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  7. Katie, I just pulled this off my fridge this morning to copy down and then I read your comment. I think that it backs up what you are saying nicely! "Sow an act and you reap a habit. Sow a habit and you reap a character. Sow a character and you reap a destiny." Charles Reade

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